Thursday, December 8, 2011
Santa isn't real?
No like really, what the heck and how did that even happen. My story is probably similar to most people's but I guess I can tell it anyways. Back when I was not more than 6 years old I had slept over at my friends' house the night of Christmas eve. As any kid of that age, you slept next to the tree just in case Santa showed up to drop off the gifts you might get a glimpse of him. This was just the case that night, we had fallen asleep next to the tree after setting out cookies and milk (again I ask why Santa likes cookies and milk, but that's a completely other topic). Not sure what time it was, but all of a sudden we woke up to sounds in the house. We knew it wasn't a dog because they didn't have one, wasn't his brother, so it must've been Santa. Well we sort of hide under our blankets, trying not to make any noise. And looking at the tree and finding out who else was in the room we realize it was his dad dressed in a Santa costume on the other end of the room. Go figure...why does it have to be ruined by your friends parents. Then obviously when you bring it up to your parents about santa being them, they try to deny it but that's just how it is. So guess I wasn't too old/too young to learn that he didn't exist. And honestly I don't think that the Christmas holiday should even be about gift giving, it's not about the actual gift you receive. It's the time you get to spend with family celebrating, being happy and just enjoying yourselves.
Understanding of rituals
In our every day lives, as explained in class, there are these things called rituals that we carry out. Each person may be different in the rituals they perform but in a sense they are carried out for a reason. Either calming or just to get your day started there is some reason that you do these things in the order in which you do. It may seem weird to some that people have "rituals" they do on their way to school or whatever, but who cares. People do things a certain way because it works for them, I hate it when people tell you that you are doing something the wrong way because honestly they aren't the ones doing it and yes maybe it wouldn't take as long to go about if you did it their way but you like to do it your way because thats just what you have been doing in the past. When you find something that works for you why change it, I mean there could be obvious benefits from adopting what other people do but then you become less unique in a sense. Every time you adopt a way of being or a way of doing things you lose you. I'm not really sure how to say that. There are pro's and con's to doing things in a certain order, that's individual. What I can say however as a whole is that rituals exist everywhere, and frankly they're important because they have given us all kinds of things. They influence your history and who you are, what you want to do with your life and who you see as being fit to hang around. Each person has their own and that's fine, it keeps life fun and interesting!
Earliest memories of trouble
Well there happened to be this day, when I was about a year and a half old. Obviously as a little kid you are going to do things that your parents don't want you to be doing because simply you don't quite understand what is right or wrong yet. So needless to say I had been doing something that I wasn't supposed to be doing, we had gone to the park and I decided to climb up on a park bench. I guess my parents weren't watching or something and all of a sudden I find myself falling off this park bench, and I wasn't a real big guy at this point (nor am I today). But I fell off the bench and smashed my face into the concrete walkway...teaches me not to do that again? From this fall I ended up breaking 3 of my front teeth and having pretty bad road burn. And after all of that and a lovely trip to the ER, I get put in time-out because I shouldn't have been on the bench, REALLY? How after you get seriously hurt, and I was only 1 1/2 at the time can you tell me that I was doing wrong. I was exploring, or thought I was. In part I would say as a child under 3 you probably shouldn't be climbing on things that if you fall you may seriously hurt yourself because your parents aren't going to be happy. ESPECIALLY if they don't know that you are doing it.
Irish Wake
I presented some of this in our group presentation and thought it would be a nice touch to add it to my blog so that others who were interested in learning more about it could. Here is just some of the things I found about the irish wake.
The traditional Irish Wake was commonplace around Ireland up until about the 1970's. This was the process of Laying out the body of a departed relative in the house where they lived and /or died. All of the family and quite a few of the deceased ones neighbours and friends would gather at the house. The body was usually in a coffin in the parlour of the house or living room. There would be lots of food and plenty of drink to be consumed. People would come and socialise and remember the departed person's life. This wasn't a time for tears to say the least, it was more of a party than a funeral. It was the traditional Irish way of celebrating one's life and ensuring that they had a good send off. A proper Irish Wake is worth the time and effort required to return to the old customs. It is hard to imagine a passing being complete without one!
The Wake is the period of time from death until the body is conveyed to the care of the church which is generally the evening before the day of burial.
THE FOLLOWING ARE THE STEPS IN THE PROCESS OF THE WAKE:
See also the extensive keening page click here . The vocalizations over the dead is very important.
The origin of the wake probably dates back to the ancient Jewish custom of leaving the sepulchre, or burial chamber, of a recently departed relative unsealed for three days before finally closing it up, during which time family members would visit frequently in the hope of seeing signs of a return to life.
A more recent story, which is almost certainly a myth, is that the tradition of the wake in Ireland came about as a result of the frequent lead poisoning suffered by drinkers of stout from pewter tankards. A symptom of this malaise is a catatonic state resembling death, from which the sufferer may recover after a period of a few hours to a day or so, to the relief of those watching for signs of such an awakening.
Whatever the origins, there is no doubt that the ceremony of the wake has provided comfort to those who have nursed a loved one through a terminal illness or have had them snatched away by disaster without the chance to say goodbye. It is an opportunity to celebrate the departed person’s life in the company of his or her family and friends and to mark their departure from their home for the last time. A wake is a scene of both sadness and joy as the end of that life is marked but the life itself is remembered and treasured.
Where is a wake held?
What to take with you to a wake
When to attend a wake
The traditional Irish Wake was commonplace around Ireland up until about the 1970's. This was the process of Laying out the body of a departed relative in the house where they lived and /or died. All of the family and quite a few of the deceased ones neighbours and friends would gather at the house. The body was usually in a coffin in the parlour of the house or living room. There would be lots of food and plenty of drink to be consumed. People would come and socialise and remember the departed person's life. This wasn't a time for tears to say the least, it was more of a party than a funeral. It was the traditional Irish way of celebrating one's life and ensuring that they had a good send off. A proper Irish Wake is worth the time and effort required to return to the old customs. It is hard to imagine a passing being complete without one!
The Wake is the period of time from death until the body is conveyed to the care of the church which is generally the evening before the day of burial.
THE FOLLOWING ARE THE STEPS IN THE PROCESS OF THE WAKE:
1. Neighbouring women experienced in laying out the body gather at the house of the diseased.'KEENING & CRYING'
2. The body is washed.
3. A habit is put on the body.
4. A bed is prepared for the body.
5. If the body is of a man - he has to be clean shaven before the habit is put on.
6. A crucifix is placed on the breast and rosary beads are put in the fingers.
7. Sheets are hung over the bed and along two or three sides.
8. Candles are lighted in candlesticks near the remains.
(This process takes about two hours)
See also the extensive keening page click here . The vocalizations over the dead is very important.
1. The women who prepared the body join the family.'PREPARATIONS & REQUIREMENTS FOR THE WAKE'.
2. The mourning family produces either muffled sobs or loud wailing related to the depth of sorrow.
3. In the event that the death was considered a “great loss” (a parent leaving a large family or tragic or early death) Keening is most intense and heartfelt.
4. After a while of Keening mourners are led away from the bedside by a few neighbours and are consoled.
5. Word is sent out to distant relatives and is spread with the help of a local shop or village.
6. Preparation and then Keening does not wait for the arrival or others.
7. If the person dies late in the evening the main Wake is not held until the following night so as to give neighbours and distant relatives time to attend.
1. Two men - a relative and a neighbour take part.'SET UP OF THE WAKE HOUSE'.
2. The Coffin is ordered (traditionally made by a local carpenter at the Wake house).
3. Supplies are brought in - bread, meat, food of all kinds. Whisky, stout, wine, pipes, tobacco, snuff. (Tobacco and snuff are extremely important as is alcohol).
1. A plate of snuff is taken to all for a pinch. A clay pipe filled with tobacco is given to all and all are provided with food and drink - traditionally a meal.'WATCHING THE BODY AND RITUAL OF VISITING THE CORPSE'.
2. Pipefull's of tobacco are offered.
3. The place for the corpse is determined by the house itself. A table, settle or bed in the kitchen or one of the rooms is used. A loft may be used.
4. The clocks are stopped as a mark of respect. (Roslea).
5. All mirrors are turned toward the wall or covered. (Roslea).
1. A corpse must not be left unattended for the entire Wake.The Irish Wake is perhaps one of the best known funeral traditions associated with Ireland. The Wake, the glorious send-off of departed loved ones, is a prominent feature of Irish funeral traditions, but is seen less and less often in modern Ireland and is now almost unknown in the cities. But in many country areas the practice of watching over the recently deceased from the time of death to burial is still followed and is an important part of the grieving process, which is why many Irish funerals, outside of the cities, are still preceded by a wake.
2. A person, generally a woman or more sits nearby.
3. On entrance, the mourner makes their way to the side of the corpse, kneels down and silently recites a few prayers for the departed soul.
4. Mourner is then welcomed by the relatives and expresses sympathy. “I’m sorry for your trouble”...then the mourner speaks kindly of the deceased and then walks away.
5. The mourner is offered food and drink for the hours spent at the Wake. If the weather is good the men congregate outside - if not, they go to the kitchen (this is very important and traditional). The corpse is often in the parlour and there is a division between the room of the corpse and celebration.
6. The mourner stays for a few hours. The old men and women come in the morning and with the end of the working day others in the community stop in.
7. The visitation lasts until midnight.
8. The Rosary is recited once or twice - at midnight and then towards morning. The Rosary is lead by an important figure - teacher or leader who recites the first decade then the relatives take part. A truly traditional Wake will have a special rosary for the dead and traditional prayers. The rosary is said around the corpse with those around the house reciting the responses.
9. Most visitors leave at midnight.
10. Close neighbours remain till morning. They drink tea, whisky or beer and talk about general affairs. Anecdotes are told with quiet laughter but within a solemn and decorous mood.
11. There are two funerals for the corpse, one in the evening and the second is when the body is taken to the graveyard on the next day.
The origin of the wake probably dates back to the ancient Jewish custom of leaving the sepulchre, or burial chamber, of a recently departed relative unsealed for three days before finally closing it up, during which time family members would visit frequently in the hope of seeing signs of a return to life.
A more recent story, which is almost certainly a myth, is that the tradition of the wake in Ireland came about as a result of the frequent lead poisoning suffered by drinkers of stout from pewter tankards. A symptom of this malaise is a catatonic state resembling death, from which the sufferer may recover after a period of a few hours to a day or so, to the relief of those watching for signs of such an awakening.
Whatever the origins, there is no doubt that the ceremony of the wake has provided comfort to those who have nursed a loved one through a terminal illness or have had them snatched away by disaster without the chance to say goodbye. It is an opportunity to celebrate the departed person’s life in the company of his or her family and friends and to mark their departure from their home for the last time. A wake is a scene of both sadness and joy as the end of that life is marked but the life itself is remembered and treasured.
Where is a wake held?
- A wake is usually held in the deceased’s home, or the home of a close relative. It is becoming more common, especially in cities, for the traditional wake to be replaced by a ‘viewing’ at a funeral home. The immediate family of the deceased will be at the funeral parlour and the protocols are similar to those followed at a wake held in the home.
- If a wake or a viewing is taking place, the death notice will normally say ‘reposing at..’ and then give the address. During a wake, the location is usually evident as there will be lots of cars outside and quite often people gathered chatting in front of the house.
- Typically, the body is waked for at least one night, during which time family, neighbours, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances visit the house to pay their respects.
- If you knew the deceased, or know any member of the deceased’s family, then you could attend the wake. You do not have to wait to be invited. Typically, a wake is attended by family, relatives, neighbours, friends, work colleagues, school and college friends, and acquaintances. However, if the death notice states ‘house private’, then the wake is restricted to the immediate family and invited guests.
- It is not usual for children to attend a wake, unless they are close relatives of the deceased.
- Men often visit the wake house late at night and sit with the body during the night. Close male neighbours and friends often volunteer to do this so that the family can get some rest.
- The atmosphere is respectful and you may hear both laughing and crying as people recall stories about the deceased.
- Dress respectfully and avoid flamboyant colours.
- Typically, when you enter the wake house you will be greeted by a member of the deceased’s family, who will guide you to where the body is laid out. If not, someone close to the family will show you the way. Shake the hand of the person who meets you and offer your condolences.
- Expect to see lots of people sitting around drinking tea, eating sandwiches, biscuits and cakes and chatting – even in the room where the body is laid out.
- The closest family members will usually be beside the body, which is typically laid out in a coffin. You should make your way to them, shake hands and offer your condolences. It’s sometimes hard to know what to say, and people will understand this as it is an awkward situation.
- Take a moment to stand and look at the body, during which time you may say a prayer. Some people touch the hands or head of the corpse for a few seconds or sprinkle some holy water (which is often on a nearby table), on the body. The best advice is to watch what others are doing and follow suit.
- Once you have met the family, shaken hands and viewed the body, it is customary to take a seat and chat for a while with those who are present. Expect to be offered a cup of tea. It is less common nowadays to be offered alcohol.
- An acceptable time to remain at the wake is anything from 10 minutes to several hours, depending on how well you know the family.
- Close neighbours and friends often volunteer to help in the kitchen (making and serving tea and sandwiches) or undertake other chores such as minding children, running errands etc.
What to take with you to a wake
- Nothing is required, but many people take along a condolence card and place it on the table beside the coffin or on the coffin.
- Only if you know the family very well do you take something to a wake, although if you do, it is always appreciated by the family, as it is such a tiring and stressful time. Typical things close relatives, neighbours and friends might take along include sandwiches, cakes and biscuits.
- Close neighbours may offer chairs, crockery and tea pots, for the duration of the wake.
When to attend a wake
- If you are not a close relative or friend of the deceased or the family the most usual time to attend is between 5pm and 8pm.
- The latest time to attend varies from county to county, but often a wake continues throughout the night and it is customary for close neighbours, relatives and friends to “sit with the body” during the night, so that the family can get some rest. If you are at the house near the time the body is due to be removed, you should leave early enough to give the immediate family time to pay their last respects to the deceased.
- Often you will see a Guest Book in the hallway of the wake house. You should sign this so that the family knows who has visited and can thank everybody.
- You can expect the body of the deceased to be visible in an open coffin in the house or the funeral home.
- Usually, the body is dressed in their best clothes, but covered with a shroud from the chest down. The head and hands will be visible.
- If the upper body has been disfigured in death, the coffin will be closed.
- It is usual for all the curtains in the wake house to be drawn, but for one window to be left open in the room where the deceased is lying.
- Mirrors in the house, especially those in the room where the body is lying, may be covered or turned to the wall.
Ritual or Ceremony
For me I chose something that I had a close relation to; irish wedding ceremonies. These have been passed down over generations. I learned much of what I know from my grandparents and thought that it may be a fun thing to share with the rest of the class. It's a little bit different than what most people may think of when they think of a wedding ceremony or ritual, but historically in the past it has worked and marriages have stayed together for longer. So here it is..
It is becoming more and more popular for couples to draw on their cultural and ethnic backgrounds and to include those traditions and customs into their weddings. This holds true for couples and families of Irish descent, for there is a rich cultural heritage upon which to draw and elements which add color and flavor to a wedding, making it truly a special event.
There are variety of Irish theme elements which can be included in such a wedding. These run the gamut from serving traditional Irish fare (food), to incorporating the color of green (after Ireland's nickname Emerald Isle), to any number of other interesting and unusual Irish flavored ingredients.
Perhaps the best-known symbol of Ireland is the shamrock. Not an easy flora to find "live," you may substitute clover or consider decorating with silk replicas, which today are made so well that it's hard to tell they aren't real. The Irish theme can, of course, begin in a quite obvious way by picking Saint Patrick's Day as the date of your event. The green and shamrock can be extended from centerpieces and decorations to the personal flowers worn and/or carried by the groom, groomsmen (boutonniere), flower girl's basket and the bridesmaids' bouquets. Bells of Ireland may be used as a single theme. They have a fabulous fragrance and are also green.
Incorporating Irish history into a wedding may also mean including Celtic customs. The choices and options are many and it is, of course, totally at the couple's discretion what and how many to use. Inclusion of Celtic symbolism can be as simple as decorating invitations with Celtic knots, or as distinctive as celebrating with a handfasting ceremony. Both Irish and Celtic music are very popular today and widely available, so whether you have an orchestra, bagpipers, or a DJ, music with an ethnic bent can become part of your event.
The groom with a good self-image might even consider wearing a kilt and asking his groomsmen to do likewise. Kilts, because they represent a particular family/ tribe, bring not only a general cultural theme into a wedding, but also a very personal family heritage. A somewhat dying art, there are only about five kilt makers in all of the United States and it takes about ten hours to make a kilt.
There are several Irish customs from which couples may choose. Here are several to get started.
Handfasting is a ceremony that some believe was practiced in remote areas where priests made infrequent circuit visits. There is some debate about whether the handfasting ceremony constituted a "real" and legal marriage, just without the benefit of clergy, or a "pre-marriage," or perhaps a public announcement of betrothal. Still others believe that it was a "trial marriage" that lasted a year and a day, after which time the couple could actually marry or part company. The "year and a day" is a time frame that was popularized in novels and purportedly was the period of time that a couple would have to be "married" before being granted the legal rights of marriage, such as inheriting land. There is little hard and fast resource material to support the "year and a day" concept, but as for handfasting, couples today practice it more as a neo-pagan, nonreligious alternative that an alternative religious ceremony.
The Claddagh Ring has remained very popular as an engagement and/or wedding ring. The symbolism is quite lovely. The heart in the design symbolizes love longed to be shared with one's true love. The crown symbolizes undying loyalty and the hands symbolize friendship, which is, after all, the very foundation of love, with loyalty holding the two hands together. There are many legends about the origin of the Claddagh ring and true or not, the Claddagh has become an everlasting symbol of love and marriage.
The Horseshoe has long been a symbol of good luck in cross-cultures. Irish tradition has it that a horseshoe given as a wedding gift to the bride and groom and kept in their home will bring them good luck. The horseshoe must always be hung like the letter "U," so that the luck doesn't "drip out."
Jumping the Broom is a custom known and practiced widely in the African-American community, where the broom serves as a symbol of hearth and home. The custom is also referenced both in Celtic and Irish wedding traditions and may have its roots in an ancient festival where women would "jump or ride a broom" to ensure the fertility of their crops.
Mead is a wine-like drink that, in its simplest form is made from honey, water and yeast. It was thought that meed could improve virility in men and fertility in women, and so held a significant place at weddings. References suggest that it is from the ingredient in mead (i.e., the honey) that the word honeymoon originated. Irish history documents the custom in which the groom would capture the bride at her home and bring her to the wedding feast, where large quantities of mead were generously passed to all the celebrants. When the festivities were over, the groom would "hide" the bride from her family for a period of a "full moon" of time, in hope that the bride might then be pregnant so that the marriage could not be challenged. One could say that the custom started with honey (mead) and ended with the moon.
Some wine and liquor shops carry an organic mead honey wine, a dry white wine which is made by fermenting honey and is also available in flavors such as elderberry, blackberry and cranberry.
Ethnic wedding traditions are often food-related and the Irish are no exception. At some traditional Irish weddings, the cake may be a fruitcake recipe. Add corned beef and cabbage, Irish soda bread, mead, and dark beer, and a wedding will have a distinct Irish "taste."
As with most wedding, the cake is a focal point at an Irish weddings. Bakers can stay in theme by decorating cakes with shamrocks and green icing and, should the couple wish, an Irish cream filling (Irish Whiskey, whipped cream and sweetener) can be used.
Father Charles Coen, himself born in Ireland, has been the pastor of St. Christopher's Catholic Church in Red Hook for the last fifteen years. He explained that "there is nothing really to distinguish an Irish wedding from any other Catholic wedding, in so far as the ceremony is concerned, except perhaps, on those rare occasions where a bagpiper or bagpipers are ‘stationed' outside the church doors." He fondly recalled the ten Irish weddings of his nieces and nephews at which he officiated in Ireland. Father Coen explained that "there are differences in the celebration aspect between Irish weddings in Ireland and Irish weddings in this country." In Ireland, the reception is typically followed by an open house, "where everyone is invited." There is music provided by a band. Guests bring their own liquor and sandwiches are served. He added, "That party is usually followed by a disco party for the young people and it's not unusual for it to last into the wee hours of the morning."
There are many ways to incorporate Irish music into a theme wedding, because there are many Irish songs, with a variety of flavors. "The Irish Wedding Song," for example, is a slow waltz-tempo song which is a lovely way to kick off the dancing. Starting alone on the dance floor, the bride and groom are joined by their guests. There are many sweet Irish ballads, such as "Black Velvet Band," which refers to the band in a lassie's hair, sing-along tunes like "When Irish Eyes are Smiling," and songs by Irish singing groups like the Irish Rovers, not to mention Irish drinking songs and Irish reels, a folk dance of Irish origin. Music can play a significant role in creating the mood for any ethnic wedding, with new popular songs and old favorites.
And a couple other interesting things
It was also lucky to hear a cuckoo on the wedding morning or to see three magpies.
After the wedding ceremony, it was important that a man and not a woman be the first to wish joy to the new bride.
Some other Irish superstitions and customs are:
It's good luck to have your birthstone in your engagement ring, even if that stone is otherwise thought to be an unlucky gem.
The earrings you wear on your wedding day will bring you luck & happiness ever after.
It's lucky to tear your wedding dress accidentally on your wedding day.
It's good luck if a happily married woman puts the veil on you, but bad luck to put it on yourself.
It's lucky to be awakened by birds singing on your wedding morning.
If you look at the sun when you leave for your wedding, your children will be beautiful.
An old superstition holds that May is an unlucky wedding month, because of its association with the Virgin Mary, yet it is one of the most popular months for weddings, both in America and Ireland.
A sunny day is lucky, and a rainy one, unlucky. Christmas & New Year's Eve are lucky times to get married.
You Marry on Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses and Saturday no day at all.
The woman who catches the flowers is supposedly the next to marry.
The same is supposedly true when the bride tosses her garter to the unmarried men.
Something old refers to wearing something that represents a link with the bride's family and her old life.
Usually, the bride wears a piece of family jewelry or maybe her mother's or grandmother's wedding dress.
Wearing something new represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life.
The bride's wedding dress is usually chosen, if purchased new, but it can be any other new item of the bride's wedding attire.
Wearing something borrowed, which has already been worn by a happy bride at her wedding, is meant to bring good luck to the marriage.
Something borrowed could be an item of bridal clothing, a handkerchief or an item of jewellery.
Wearing something blue dates back to biblical times when the colour blue was considered to represent purity and fidelity.
Over time this has evolved from wearing blue clothing to wearing a blue band around the bottom of the bride's dress and to modern times where the bride wears a blue or blue-trimmed garter.
Honking the horns of the cars in the procession from the church replaces the firing of guns.
The first is to protect the bride from evil spirits that were thought to be lying in wait under the threshold.
The second explanation relates to Roman times when it was believed that if the bride stumbled when entering the newlywed's home for the first time, it would bring bad luck and harm to their marriage.
So carrying the bride across the threshold would prevent this from happening, though no reference can be found of what happens if the groom stumbles or falls while carrying the bride.
In the past, an Irish 5 pence coin could be worn in place of the sixpence in the shoe.
Anne of Brittany made the white wedding dress popular in 1499. In the 19th century colored bridal dresses were quite common at country weddings.
Before that, a woman just wore her best dress. In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity (as mentioned above), and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire.
One tradition comes from the days when a groom would throw a blanket over the head of the woman of his choice when he captured her and carted her off.
Another is that during the times of arranged marriages, the bride's face was covered until the groom was committed to her at the ceremony so he could not refuse to marry her if he didn't like her looks.
Therefore, the father of the bride gave the bride away to the groom, who then lifted the veil to see her for the first time.
It is also thought that the veil was worn to protect the bride from evil spirits that would be floating around on her wedding day.
These various origins have all evolved into the tradition that the veil covers the bride's face throughout the ceremony until the minister pronounces the couple man and wife and the groom then lifts the veil to kiss his new wife.
It is becoming more and more popular for couples to draw on their cultural and ethnic backgrounds and to include those traditions and customs into their weddings. This holds true for couples and families of Irish descent, for there is a rich cultural heritage upon which to draw and elements which add color and flavor to a wedding, making it truly a special event.
There are variety of Irish theme elements which can be included in such a wedding. These run the gamut from serving traditional Irish fare (food), to incorporating the color of green (after Ireland's nickname Emerald Isle), to any number of other interesting and unusual Irish flavored ingredients.
Perhaps the best-known symbol of Ireland is the shamrock. Not an easy flora to find "live," you may substitute clover or consider decorating with silk replicas, which today are made so well that it's hard to tell they aren't real. The Irish theme can, of course, begin in a quite obvious way by picking Saint Patrick's Day as the date of your event. The green and shamrock can be extended from centerpieces and decorations to the personal flowers worn and/or carried by the groom, groomsmen (boutonniere), flower girl's basket and the bridesmaids' bouquets. Bells of Ireland may be used as a single theme. They have a fabulous fragrance and are also green.
Incorporating Irish history into a wedding may also mean including Celtic customs. The choices and options are many and it is, of course, totally at the couple's discretion what and how many to use. Inclusion of Celtic symbolism can be as simple as decorating invitations with Celtic knots, or as distinctive as celebrating with a handfasting ceremony. Both Irish and Celtic music are very popular today and widely available, so whether you have an orchestra, bagpipers, or a DJ, music with an ethnic bent can become part of your event.
The groom with a good self-image might even consider wearing a kilt and asking his groomsmen to do likewise. Kilts, because they represent a particular family/ tribe, bring not only a general cultural theme into a wedding, but also a very personal family heritage. A somewhat dying art, there are only about five kilt makers in all of the United States and it takes about ten hours to make a kilt.
There are several Irish customs from which couples may choose. Here are several to get started.
Handfasting is a ceremony that some believe was practiced in remote areas where priests made infrequent circuit visits. There is some debate about whether the handfasting ceremony constituted a "real" and legal marriage, just without the benefit of clergy, or a "pre-marriage," or perhaps a public announcement of betrothal. Still others believe that it was a "trial marriage" that lasted a year and a day, after which time the couple could actually marry or part company. The "year and a day" is a time frame that was popularized in novels and purportedly was the period of time that a couple would have to be "married" before being granted the legal rights of marriage, such as inheriting land. There is little hard and fast resource material to support the "year and a day" concept, but as for handfasting, couples today practice it more as a neo-pagan, nonreligious alternative that an alternative religious ceremony.
The Claddagh Ring has remained very popular as an engagement and/or wedding ring. The symbolism is quite lovely. The heart in the design symbolizes love longed to be shared with one's true love. The crown symbolizes undying loyalty and the hands symbolize friendship, which is, after all, the very foundation of love, with loyalty holding the two hands together. There are many legends about the origin of the Claddagh ring and true or not, the Claddagh has become an everlasting symbol of love and marriage.
The Horseshoe has long been a symbol of good luck in cross-cultures. Irish tradition has it that a horseshoe given as a wedding gift to the bride and groom and kept in their home will bring them good luck. The horseshoe must always be hung like the letter "U," so that the luck doesn't "drip out."
Jumping the Broom is a custom known and practiced widely in the African-American community, where the broom serves as a symbol of hearth and home. The custom is also referenced both in Celtic and Irish wedding traditions and may have its roots in an ancient festival where women would "jump or ride a broom" to ensure the fertility of their crops.
Mead is a wine-like drink that, in its simplest form is made from honey, water and yeast. It was thought that meed could improve virility in men and fertility in women, and so held a significant place at weddings. References suggest that it is from the ingredient in mead (i.e., the honey) that the word honeymoon originated. Irish history documents the custom in which the groom would capture the bride at her home and bring her to the wedding feast, where large quantities of mead were generously passed to all the celebrants. When the festivities were over, the groom would "hide" the bride from her family for a period of a "full moon" of time, in hope that the bride might then be pregnant so that the marriage could not be challenged. One could say that the custom started with honey (mead) and ended with the moon.
Some wine and liquor shops carry an organic mead honey wine, a dry white wine which is made by fermenting honey and is also available in flavors such as elderberry, blackberry and cranberry.
Ethnic wedding traditions are often food-related and the Irish are no exception. At some traditional Irish weddings, the cake may be a fruitcake recipe. Add corned beef and cabbage, Irish soda bread, mead, and dark beer, and a wedding will have a distinct Irish "taste."
As with most wedding, the cake is a focal point at an Irish weddings. Bakers can stay in theme by decorating cakes with shamrocks and green icing and, should the couple wish, an Irish cream filling (Irish Whiskey, whipped cream and sweetener) can be used.
Father Charles Coen, himself born in Ireland, has been the pastor of St. Christopher's Catholic Church in Red Hook for the last fifteen years. He explained that "there is nothing really to distinguish an Irish wedding from any other Catholic wedding, in so far as the ceremony is concerned, except perhaps, on those rare occasions where a bagpiper or bagpipers are ‘stationed' outside the church doors." He fondly recalled the ten Irish weddings of his nieces and nephews at which he officiated in Ireland. Father Coen explained that "there are differences in the celebration aspect between Irish weddings in Ireland and Irish weddings in this country." In Ireland, the reception is typically followed by an open house, "where everyone is invited." There is music provided by a band. Guests bring their own liquor and sandwiches are served. He added, "That party is usually followed by a disco party for the young people and it's not unusual for it to last into the wee hours of the morning."
There are many ways to incorporate Irish music into a theme wedding, because there are many Irish songs, with a variety of flavors. "The Irish Wedding Song," for example, is a slow waltz-tempo song which is a lovely way to kick off the dancing. Starting alone on the dance floor, the bride and groom are joined by their guests. There are many sweet Irish ballads, such as "Black Velvet Band," which refers to the band in a lassie's hair, sing-along tunes like "When Irish Eyes are Smiling," and songs by Irish singing groups like the Irish Rovers, not to mention Irish drinking songs and Irish reels, a folk dance of Irish origin. Music can play a significant role in creating the mood for any ethnic wedding, with new popular songs and old favorites.
And a couple other interesting things
Irish Superstitions
In the 18th and 19th centuries, the Irish believed that if the sun shone on the bride, it would bring good luck to the couple. It was also lucky to hear a cuckoo on the wedding morning or to see three magpies.
After the wedding ceremony, it was important that a man and not a woman be the first to wish joy to the new bride.
Some other Irish superstitions and customs are:
It's good luck to have your birthstone in your engagement ring, even if that stone is otherwise thought to be an unlucky gem.
The earrings you wear on your wedding day will bring you luck & happiness ever after.
It's lucky to tear your wedding dress accidentally on your wedding day.
It's good luck if a happily married woman puts the veil on you, but bad luck to put it on yourself.
It's lucky to be awakened by birds singing on your wedding morning.
If you look at the sun when you leave for your wedding, your children will be beautiful.
Selecting the Date
In Ireland the last day of the old year is thought specially lucky for weddings. Childermas Day or Holy Innocents is, on the contrary, a very unlucky one. An old superstition holds that May is an unlucky wedding month, because of its association with the Virgin Mary, yet it is one of the most popular months for weddings, both in America and Ireland.
A sunny day is lucky, and a rainy one, unlucky. Christmas & New Year's Eve are lucky times to get married.
You Marry on Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses and Saturday no day at all.
Throwing the Bouquet
The custom of the bride tossing the bouquet to the unmarried guests dates from the 14th century and probably originated in France. The woman who catches the flowers is supposedly the next to marry.
The same is supposedly true when the bride tosses her garter to the unmarried men.
Something old, new, borrowed and blue
The full wording of this popular bridal attire rhyme, which dates back to the Victorian times is 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in your shoe'. Something old refers to wearing something that represents a link with the bride's family and her old life.
Usually, the bride wears a piece of family jewelry or maybe her mother's or grandmother's wedding dress.
Wearing something new represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life.
The bride's wedding dress is usually chosen, if purchased new, but it can be any other new item of the bride's wedding attire.
Wearing something borrowed, which has already been worn by a happy bride at her wedding, is meant to bring good luck to the marriage.
Something borrowed could be an item of bridal clothing, a handkerchief or an item of jewellery.
Wearing something blue dates back to biblical times when the colour blue was considered to represent purity and fidelity.
Over time this has evolved from wearing blue clothing to wearing a blue band around the bottom of the bride's dress and to modern times where the bride wears a blue or blue-trimmed garter.
Honking Horns
Another ancient practice in some parts of Ireland is that of firing rifles and other weaponry into the air as the couple pass to salute the bride; of course over the past centuries this has occasionally been observed with devastating results. Honking the horns of the cars in the procession from the church replaces the firing of guns.
Carrying the Bride over the Threshold
There seems to be two explanations for this tradition where the groom carries his bride over the threshold when entering their home as a married couple for the first time. The first is to protect the bride from evil spirits that were thought to be lying in wait under the threshold.
The second explanation relates to Roman times when it was believed that if the bride stumbled when entering the newlywed's home for the first time, it would bring bad luck and harm to their marriage.
So carrying the bride across the threshold would prevent this from happening, though no reference can be found of what happens if the groom stumbles or falls while carrying the bride.
And a silver sixpence in your shoe
Placing a silver sixpence in the bride's left shoe is a symbol of wealth. This is not just to bring the bride financial wealth but also a wealth of happiness and joy throughout her married life. In the past, an Irish 5 pence coin could be worn in place of the sixpence in the shoe.
Wedding Gowns
The bride's white gown has become so traditional that many cannot imagine anything else but this is relatively recent development in the Celtic lands. Anne of Brittany made the white wedding dress popular in 1499. In the 19th century colored bridal dresses were quite common at country weddings.
Before that, a woman just wore her best dress. In biblical days, blue (not white) represented purity (as mentioned above), and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire.
The Wedding Veil
The origin of the wedding veil is unclear but it is thought that it predates the wedding dress by centuries. One tradition comes from the days when a groom would throw a blanket over the head of the woman of his choice when he captured her and carted her off.
Another is that during the times of arranged marriages, the bride's face was covered until the groom was committed to her at the ceremony so he could not refuse to marry her if he didn't like her looks.
Therefore, the father of the bride gave the bride away to the groom, who then lifted the veil to see her for the first time.
It is also thought that the veil was worn to protect the bride from evil spirits that would be floating around on her wedding day.
These various origins have all evolved into the tradition that the veil covers the bride's face throughout the ceremony until the minister pronounces the couple man and wife and the groom then lifts the veil to kiss his new wife.
Vocab we should know after this class
One thing that came up while going back over all these notes I've taken thus far this term was the sure amount of words we have gone over. There have been quite a few, so I thought that I would include that in my blog because it had significance to me...
Ontalogy: Being that which is
Dayeus:
Ze-eus: was the god of the sky and ruler of the Olympian gods
Jupiter: Sky God
Homeric Hymn:
Fairy Tales: Deteriorated version of mythology
Fin : The end
Funeral : The ceremonies honoring a dead person
Separation : The action or state of moving or being moved apart: "the separation of parents and children"
Sparagmos - dismemberment (dionysian ritual)
Omophagia - the eating of the raw flesh of the one dismembered
Sacrafice - to make sacred
Sybil : Also known as an oracle
GAM - marriage, birth
Abduction : The action or an instance of forcibly taking a person or persons away against their will
Metamorphisis : is a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching
Dromenon : Drama
Baptism : Death come back to life
Deus Ex Machina - God out of the machine
Ritual - is a set of actions performed mainly for their symbolic value; typically religious or tradition
Myth and ritual - two components of religion practice
Effigy - representation of someone hated...voodoo doll
Maypole - sacred trees, representation
Phallic Symbolism -
Mythology : Precedent behind every action, (in short)
Chthonic - of or related to the underworld
The furies - Erinyes; the avengers
archetype : the original pattern or model for which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; first form or prototype
Senex : wise old man; roman comedies as the impitent old man
Metis : Metis : of the titan generation, first great spouse of Zeus (mother of Athena, also known ads the goddess of wisdom)
Peitho : goddess who personifies persuasion and seduction
Temenos : a piece of land cut off and assigned as an official domain
Temenos 2 : a piece of land marked off from common uses and dedicated
Kore : of or referring to the greek goddess persephone; moon
Kenosis - emptying out
Plerosis - fullness/fulfilling
Tote Tage - Upside down day (everyone in charge is no longer in charge)
Eleusinian mysteries - failure of nerve...
Failure of nerve: you dont trust to live in this world, you are trying to get to the next world because of the sufferings
Kykeon : Ancient greek drink made of mainly barleyh, and water and other naturally occurring substances
Pytho - persuasion (becomes wise and has a child because its a girl)
lucricious - on the nature of things
Metempsychosis - transmigration of the soul, especially reincarnation after death
Eschatology - grounds/preconditions/proper use of thinking and the creative ordering of realityu
Socrates - all of life is a preparation for death
fisce - to make
in illo tempore : in the beginning
quotidian - of or relating to reality/ the every day
Ontalogy: Being that which is
Dayeus:
Ze-eus: was the god of the sky and ruler of the Olympian gods
Jupiter: Sky God
Homeric Hymn:
Fairy Tales: Deteriorated version of mythology
Fin : The end
Funeral : The ceremonies honoring a dead person
Separation : The action or state of moving or being moved apart: "the separation of parents and children"
Sparagmos - dismemberment (dionysian ritual)
Omophagia - the eating of the raw flesh of the one dismembered
Sacrafice - to make sacred
Sybil : Also known as an oracle
GAM - marriage, birth
Abduction : The action or an instance of forcibly taking a person or persons away against their will
Metamorphisis : is a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching
Dromenon : Drama
Baptism : Death come back to life
Deus Ex Machina - God out of the machine
Ritual - is a set of actions performed mainly for their symbolic value; typically religious or tradition
Myth and ritual - two components of religion practice
Effigy - representation of someone hated...voodoo doll
Maypole - sacred trees, representation
Phallic Symbolism -
Mythology : Precedent behind every action, (in short)
Chthonic - of or related to the underworld
The furies - Erinyes; the avengers
archetype : the original pattern or model for which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; first form or prototype
Senex : wise old man; roman comedies as the impitent old man
Metis : Metis : of the titan generation, first great spouse of Zeus (mother of Athena, also known ads the goddess of wisdom)
Peitho : goddess who personifies persuasion and seduction
Temenos : a piece of land cut off and assigned as an official domain
Temenos 2 : a piece of land marked off from common uses and dedicated
Kore : of or referring to the greek goddess persephone; moon
Kenosis - emptying out
Plerosis - fullness/fulfilling
Tote Tage - Upside down day (everyone in charge is no longer in charge)
Eleusinian mysteries - failure of nerve...
Failure of nerve: you dont trust to live in this world, you are trying to get to the next world because of the sufferings
Kykeon : Ancient greek drink made of mainly barleyh, and water and other naturally occurring substances
Pytho - persuasion (becomes wise and has a child because its a girl)
lucricious - on the nature of things
Metempsychosis - transmigration of the soul, especially reincarnation after death
Eschatology - grounds/preconditions/proper use of thinking and the creative ordering of realityu
Socrates - all of life is a preparation for death
fisce - to make
in illo tempore : in the beginning
quotidian - of or relating to reality/ the every day
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